Monday, July 02, 2007

Lesser Beings

Unalienable feelings tell me that right at this moment I should have been hanging upside down from a tree or licking myself clean or sleeping standing up or guarding eggs, instead of wasting my time wording this rant. God made a eleventh-hour decision to make me "civilized" and so here I am - inadept at climbing a tree, cringing at the thought of my own saliva on my own skin, able to day-dream but unable to sleep standing, unqualified to lay eggs..... but totally appreciative of our incessant use of grey cells for mindless inventions of unnecessary mechanisms to help us do even more pointless things. But once in a while, like now, lightning strikes and for a brief moment as I stand semi-dazed, I look at myself and think "This was not what was meant to be".

Ironically, this time the lightning strike was induced by a creation by a few saner ones of the civilized kind: a movie called 'Animals are Beautiful People' (a fantabulastic movie for an animal lover, but still makes for a good watch just by virtue of being hillarious). A flurry of feelings convince me that we are plumetting headlong down the evolution trench instead of moving up the ladder, as we claim it to be. While I wont deny that it is partly because I should have been born in a zoo, it sounds pretty rational to my constantly tornado-ing human mind too. I noodle over thoughts ...

  • Isnt it all wrong that we need to be taught 'right' and 'wrong' all our lives, and right is not just instinctive like it is for every other creature?
  • Why do we have the need to seek meaning in things that are just intrinsically beautiful like love and life and happiness?
  • Which of God's beings but us are so tired of work that our ultimate dream is 'retirement'?
  • When you sit beside someone of your kind and dont have anything to say (and there is no idiot box around), so often the silence is "uncomfortable".
  • Being disloyal comes naturally, while no other creature can even be taught disloyality.
  • Suicide?
  • Every-day life is so bad that we all feel the need for regular vacations to "escape" from every-day life? We are one of the few creatures that can actually see the zillion bright and happy colors around us, but still are one of the unhappiest.
.... even if only briefly, before I go back to my potato-couching.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Apologies encompassed

To those who I hurt
But never wanted to:
I dint know any better then
What else could I do?
I had to learn somewhere,
I'm just sorry it was with you.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Settled Scores

I tore up all the letters that I had tucked away neatly in that special nook in my cupboard. I threw the rubble into the drain and waited to see the words dissolve into a somber murk. It was over... finally over (- at least for now - somethings just keep coming back to haunt you).

It wasnt easy... parting with what you hold cherished never is. I had managed to put it off until then, convincing myself with puerile reasons. But ultimately, it had to be done - it was the "right" thing to do and the world seems to think that is reason enough to do it.

A week has passed since then. The bitterness of the parting has waned as if the emotions were never true. All that remains is a sense of relief - relief that I have paid my bills for the month, even if it meant parting with my cherished, hard-earned money. The nook in my cupboard starts filling up with unopened mail.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Finding Home

I waited by my window
to see him walk by
Hoping one day
to catch his eye.

My fingers curled
tight around the rail
As his familiar form
had my eyes trail.

My heart beat
to the rhythm of his tread
As he walked unmindful
to my feelings unsaid.

For weeks and months
I watched him from my window
Till one day he stopped coming
But never did my desire mellow.

Sitting on my doorstep
one lovely morning
I was sipping at my cup
of coffee and whipping.

It happened in a flash
And there he stood fine
with his eyes firmly locked
right onto mine.

My eyes welled
I felt wetness on the brim
I knew he longed for me
Much as I yearned for him.

He came sat by my side
His hands touched my skin
The thrill was boundless
Like it was almost sin.

My heart pained in the pleasure
I left him and ran indoor
wholly unable to bear
feelings never felt before.

He followed me in
Just as him I started to miss
Then I set supper for us
while he got set to make me his.

As he lapped up his milk
and rubbed my leg against his neckline
I knew he was mine,
My very own pet feline.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Veiled wounds

A lovely evening, a charming hostess

Glitterring guests, flush and famous.

Sweet wine, sparkling crystal,

Delightful music, airy and ageless.

Satin on every shoulder, aroma in every breath,

Flowers in baskets, of every color in the palette.

Mirrors on walls, art on domes

And bloodstains under the carpet.